


Even if you keep them unsung

by CissaMalfoyBlack



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depression, Gen, Suicide thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-03 21:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10975992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CissaMalfoyBlack/pseuds/CissaMalfoyBlack
Summary: sometime lyrics are something completely different than a bunch of pretty words onto a haunting tune. sometimes, with the right person listening to them, they can save a life.





	Even if you keep them unsung

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native speaker, this work is unbetaed and it might be slightly triggering. I hope you can enjoy it nonetheless.

Is it normal?  
Surely it isn't healthy.  
To keep going for everyone but yourself.  
I mean, every day you wake up and you wish you haven't.  
Your last thought before you lose your fight with sleep is :will this be the lucky one?  
The emptiness, the pain.  
That dark pit inside.  
No matters what you do, no matters where you go, it never goes away, it never fills up, not even a little bit.  
You spend your nights awake until the first light of the new day comes through the window, then you crash onto your bed, fully clothed and worn enough, to practically pass out the moment your head hit the pillow.  
And hell, God only knows, how many time you have thought about it.  
To make it all stop.  
To push the pain away.  
To let it bleeds all out or just send it to sleep forever.  
It would be so easy.  
You aren't afraid of hell.  
You've already been there, longer than you care to remember.  
Maybe you'll just be thrown into the void.  
Surely there ain't no heaven waiting for you, on this, you'd bet your life if it still meant something to you.  
You screwed up too much, too many times to be allowed anywhere near it again.  
You are not scared of an eternity of pain and tortures or just plain nothingness because that pain, that tortures, that void would comes from somewhere else than yourself and you know that you can bear it.  
Emptiness, loneliness, worthlessness.  
Those are your closest friends.  
Yet every day you drag your tired bones out of bed.  
You get your coffee and put on your smiling face.  
You turn on your music, rhythm rocking, happy, full of all that wish for life that you are missing.  
Nobody ever listen to the lyrics, with such a tune they don't really matters, do they?  
You joke, you laugh, you hunt and sing.  
You cook and drive and assure them that everything is fine.  
And you are so damn good at faking it.  
Your extended family, your friends.  
Nobody knows.  
Nobody can know.  
You are the sick one and yet you still are their rock as absurd as it may sounds.  
They are what keeps you into an existence of agony and yet again you know it.  
If you give in, it would be your way out and their way in.  
You can't drop that feeling on them.  
You just can't.  
You are not a big enough son of bitch.  
And again you can't help but wonder: how long you can take it?  
When will come the day when you will just step silently away to never come back?  
There will not be notes, you already know.  
Nor last will or explanations.  
Just an empty room and a silence so deep it will be deafening.  
And for their sake you keep going, dying a little more inside with every dawn you see, with every word you don't speak, and you keep going.  
And then as you walk by my side, all of a sudden, I can't keep silent anymore.  
“Will that day be today?”  
You slow down in the middle of a step, almost frozen, just for a split second,.  
I can see you can say that there are so much sadness, concern, fear and affection and oh so much more into those five simple words that your mind goes completely blank.  
You've never lied, not to me,you've never avoided a question.  
“I don't know.” you say under you breath.“Ask me tomorrow.”  
“I will.”  
And I can see it.  
I can see it by the shy little smile that ripples your lips.  
I can pinpoint the precise moment you realize how much I care, so much more than I can explain, the moment you realize that I will do whatever is in my power to be sure you'll be there to answer to that question every single day.  
Because I can be a failure at express my feelings but I've been listening, I'll always be listening to your lyrics, even if you keep them unsung.

Fin.


End file.
